By being there! I don't blame you for going but that's all I ever wanted. All we ever--
[she cuts herself off]
No forget it. What's done is done.
And as for De la Cruz. What he wanted-- Do you know he-- He came to Santa Cecilia once. I--
I thought you would be there, but--
[she has to stop as an almost suffocating sadness fills her at the memory, but she pushes through it, shoves it to the side]
He never spoke of you. Not once. Maybe he did later on, I don't know. But -- you would have thought he would have told me you were dead.
[but she knows De la Cruz means much to him only]
And he never took care of you. Never. And I know you say it doesn't matter but it matters to me. And he could be bothered to care for something beyond his own estupido career.
And why are you so ragged in the Land of the Dead anyway? Why isn't he taking care of you? He is famous because of your songs but you're... You don't even look-- healthy half of the time, as if you're being forgotten and--
I bet he never told a single person. I bet you he didn't. [she's pacing the room now, furious] I bet he took all the credit because he is a filthy puta. He said-- do you know what he said?
He said to me that your dream was greater! That you wanted to play for the world and how dare I hold you back from your greatness!
That is what he said.
And I did hold you back because if you'd lived you would have been great, and even though you died, if he had just said something about you, you would be better off. People would know what you did!
And if you want to defend De la Cruz I don't want to hear it. [she holds up a hand, even if it is just voice] I know how you feel about him and it's not going to change my mind.
[And he stops because. That was such an old argument and it didn't matter at all anymore.
But he is surprised that Ernesto returned to Santa Cecilia.
Halfway through, Hector rolls his eyes and gives an annoyed snort.]
Of course he didn't say anything. People would wonder and they might find out he didn't write those songs.
[But despite everything, Hector can't help but grin as she curses. She always had a way with them. Making them seem powerful instead of ridiculous like he did.]
Eh? Wait, wait, wait. Imelda, why do you think Ernesto sings my songs?
Because they are incredible, idiota. Because they are-- they-- from-- just inside... they pull out everything. And he's just banking on that without doing any of the work of his own.
We had to play for three radios because idiotas left their shop doors open and all I could hear was Poco Loco or El Mundo es Mi Familia and I just wanted to kill it.
You would think! But... even if he sang them right he could never sing them like you. I think he secretly hated you because of that... But... [she folds her arms] I think he secretly loved you, too.
That doesn't mean you didn't deserve better. That doesn't mean you could have had more. You accept so much when you don't need to. It's like you don't know your own worth.
[how could he not? that always baffled her]
In my life, before Coco, I had two things. I had my brothers and I had you. And both were more precious to me than the stars... You...
That's how content you are. Not what you're worth. [she takes a deep breath]
For me-- For me-- Without you, I would have been nothing. With you I was everything. When you left...there was nothing that filled the space where you had been. [she presses her hand against her ribs] That is what you mean. That is what you are worth.
3/18 night voice
[she cuts herself off]
No forget it. What's done is done.
And as for De la Cruz. What he wanted-- Do you know he-- He came to Santa Cecilia once. I--
I thought you would be there, but--
[she has to stop as an almost suffocating sadness fills her at the memory, but she pushes through it, shoves it to the side]
He never spoke of you. Not once. Maybe he did later on, I don't know. But -- you would have thought he would have told me you were dead.
[but she knows De la Cruz means much to him only]
And he never took care of you. Never. And I know you say it doesn't matter but it matters to me. And he could be bothered to care for something beyond his own estupido career.
And why are you so ragged in the Land of the Dead anyway? Why isn't he taking care of you? He is famous because of your songs but you're... You don't even look-- healthy half of the time, as if you're being forgotten and--
I bet he never told a single person. I bet you he didn't. [she's pacing the room now, furious] I bet he took all the credit because he is a filthy puta. He said-- do you know what he said?
He said to me that your dream was greater! That you wanted to play for the world and how dare I hold you back from your greatness!
That is what he said.
And I did hold you back because if you'd lived you would have been great, and even though you died, if he had just said something about you, you would be better off. People would know what you did!
And if you want to defend De la Cruz I don't want to hear it. [she holds up a hand, even if it is just voice] I know how you feel about him and it's not going to change my mind.
Re: 3/18 night voice
[And he stops because. That was such an old argument and it didn't matter at all anymore.
But he is surprised that Ernesto returned to Santa Cecilia.
Halfway through, Hector rolls his eyes and gives an annoyed snort.]
Of course he didn't say anything. People would wonder and they might find out he didn't write those songs.
[But despite everything, Hector can't help but grin as she curses. She always had a way with them. Making them seem powerful instead of ridiculous like he did.]
Eh? Wait, wait, wait. Imelda, why do you think Ernesto sings my songs?
3/18 night voice
Because they are incredible, idiota. Because they are-- they-- from-- just inside... they pull out everything. And he's just banking on that without doing any of the work of his own.
Re: 3/18 night voice
[Wait.
His voice softens a bit.]
You still think they are incredible?
3/18 night voice
[she snorts]
We had to play for three radios because idiotas left their shop doors open and all I could hear was Poco Loco or El Mundo es Mi Familia and I just wanted to kill it.
So I did.
But I still loved them.
Re: 3/18 night voice
Y-you destroyed three radios? Ay, do you see why I wrote that song for you?
[At least that song had kept it's meaning, even if Ernesto had slowed it down a bit. he shook his head.]
Ernesto messed them all up. You'd think he'd at least learn to read the music if he's going to bother stealing it.
3/18 night voice
You would think! But... even if he sang them right he could never sing them like you. I think he secretly hated you because of that... But... [she folds her arms] I think he secretly loved you, too.
Re: 3/18 night voice
[He sighs though because, they had been close. Then he'd died and Ernesto had stolen his songs.]
Guess it wasn't enough.
3/18 night voice
I think more than anyone he loved himself.
[she sighs]
You deserved so much more out of life.
Re: 3/18 night voice
3/18 night voice
[how could he not? that always baffled her]
In my life, before Coco, I had two things. I had my brothers and I had you. And both were more precious to me than the stars... You...
[but she can't say it]
You are-- I --
Por favor care for yourself like you care for me.
Re: 3/18 night voice
[Ernesto might have wanted more, and Hector couldn't blame him. If only, somehow, they could have all wanted the same thing.]
I-imelda...
3/18 night voice
That's how content you are. Not what you're worth. [she takes a deep breath]
For me-- For me-- Without you, I would have been nothing. With you I was everything. When you left...there was nothing that filled the space where you had been. [she presses her hand against her ribs] That is what you mean. That is what you are worth.
The other half--
[but she can't say anymore]
Good night, Hector.
[and she ends the feed]
Re: 3/18 night voice
[And the feed is off. He sighed a bit, looking at the communicator in his hand.]
That's why I can never want anything more...you made life worth while, no matter what else was happening.