By being there! I don't blame you for going but that's all I ever wanted. All we ever--
[she cuts herself off]
No forget it. What's done is done.
And as for De la Cruz. What he wanted-- Do you know he-- He came to Santa Cecilia once. I--
I thought you would be there, but--
[she has to stop as an almost suffocating sadness fills her at the memory, but she pushes through it, shoves it to the side]
He never spoke of you. Not once. Maybe he did later on, I don't know. But -- you would have thought he would have told me you were dead.
[but she knows De la Cruz means much to him only]
And he never took care of you. Never. And I know you say it doesn't matter but it matters to me. And he could be bothered to care for something beyond his own estupido career.
And why are you so ragged in the Land of the Dead anyway? Why isn't he taking care of you? He is famous because of your songs but you're... You don't even look-- healthy half of the time, as if you're being forgotten and--
I bet he never told a single person. I bet you he didn't. [she's pacing the room now, furious] I bet he took all the credit because he is a filthy puta. He said-- do you know what he said?
He said to me that your dream was greater! That you wanted to play for the world and how dare I hold you back from your greatness!
That is what he said.
And I did hold you back because if you'd lived you would have been great, and even though you died, if he had just said something about you, you would be better off. People would know what you did!
And if you want to defend De la Cruz I don't want to hear it. [she holds up a hand, even if it is just voice] I know how you feel about him and it's not going to change my mind.
3/18 night voice
[she cuts herself off]
No forget it. What's done is done.
And as for De la Cruz. What he wanted-- Do you know he-- He came to Santa Cecilia once. I--
I thought you would be there, but--
[she has to stop as an almost suffocating sadness fills her at the memory, but she pushes through it, shoves it to the side]
He never spoke of you. Not once. Maybe he did later on, I don't know. But -- you would have thought he would have told me you were dead.
[but she knows De la Cruz means much to him only]
And he never took care of you. Never. And I know you say it doesn't matter but it matters to me. And he could be bothered to care for something beyond his own estupido career.
And why are you so ragged in the Land of the Dead anyway? Why isn't he taking care of you? He is famous because of your songs but you're... You don't even look-- healthy half of the time, as if you're being forgotten and--
I bet he never told a single person. I bet you he didn't. [she's pacing the room now, furious] I bet he took all the credit because he is a filthy puta. He said-- do you know what he said?
He said to me that your dream was greater! That you wanted to play for the world and how dare I hold you back from your greatness!
That is what he said.
And I did hold you back because if you'd lived you would have been great, and even though you died, if he had just said something about you, you would be better off. People would know what you did!
And if you want to defend De la Cruz I don't want to hear it. [she holds up a hand, even if it is just voice] I know how you feel about him and it's not going to change my mind.